The Art Of Listening

"Ugh! Finally, we finished the horrendous quadratic equation! I didn't understand what happened in class. I mean, I didn't listen. But jeez, it's over! What's the next class, Ann?" Said my very dear friend Mohana (Yeah, of course, Mohana said it. Not me. I always pay attention)

"The following class is known as Value Education, Mohana. Thou shall study the beneficial skill of listening," I replied.

"Ew, we're learning about listening. Sounds like nap time for me," commented Mohana. (Yeah, definitely, Mohana commented that. Not me. No, I would never.)

Here, Mohana, ironically enough, just mentioned that she did not listen to the math class earlier. When it comes to learning about listening, Mohana still doesn't want to listen.

Come to think of it, what is listening? Why is there a 16,000-word Wikipedia page on listening? And why is listening termed a skill?

First off, the difference between listening and hearing. People tend to use them synonymously, but in actuality, they are different. When in simple terms, hearing is a subconscious activity, while listening is a conscious process. An example of hearing is when Mohana is just allowing sounds and sentences during math class to flow through her ears. Whereas, listening can be when Sarah is watching anime. She is constantly paying attention to the characters to understand what is happening.

That's listening! When you are being attentive and responsive to what you are hearing. When not only your ears but also your brain and nervous system work.

Why is listening considered a skill? It sounds simple enough. We listen all the time. However, it is a skill because it holds a lot of power. It is not easy to listen all the time. Yes, listening is a process. It is conscious. This means you should be mentally present and comprehend what is being said to you. One should not underestimate the strength and ability of listening. First off, listening improves memory. It helps you to be more understanding and have better responses. And, most importantly, it makes you look sophisticated and cool! Which makes you feel important. There's a boost to self-confidence. (So, kids, listening is the key to self-confidence. Hence proved!)

But, no, seriously, listening has a lot of positive effects. When you're listening and not simply hearing someone, you are much more caring and connected to the person. You understand the point they convey. You're essentially raising your EQ (emotional quotient/intelligence) too. How can you be a better listener? Just three rules: Eye contact, Body language, and don't reply until they are finished. Eye contact is a key factor here. It shows that you are looking at them and they are being listened to. It reassures them (and it makes you look confident). By body language, I mean, not only having a proper posture on your side but also, observing their body language too. Nonverbal communication says a lot about the emotion they are feeling. And now, you'll be a lot more mentally connected with them. And don't talk till done. Let them finish. If you cut them off mid-sentence, there is a high chance they will not finish it at all and not convey their point to you. (I too, need to learn to shut my mouth. Am sorry if I ever cut you off. I'll try not to do that again).

So what did we learn here today? One, Mohana doesn't pay attention in math class. Two, Wikipedia writes unnecessarily long pages about listening. Three, listening is key to self-confidence.

So Mohana, when you want to learn something, be attentive, have eye contact, do not doodle in a book, and use your brain to decipher the sounds that you hear.

Let us all be more attentive and support Mohana to listen better. Next time and every time from the next time, whenever someone has something to say, use your ears AND your brain.

Signed,

Ann